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Oh, God, what has Dawkins done now?
Another big atheist row?
Where’s the thunder and lightning?
Not a smidgeon of smiting?
You gone soft in your old age, somehow?
Another big atheist row?
Where’s the thunder and lightning?
Not a smidgeon of smiting?
You gone soft in your old age, somehow?
A man from Iran has a plot
A plot to get an ambassador shot
but the US said "no"
and with the world in tow
The Mexican cartels would rather not
A plot to get an ambassador shot
but the US said "no"
and with the world in tow
The Mexican cartels would rather not
The bosses’ pay rises once more
So it great when you’ve a foot in the door
In executive life
There’s little strife
Redundancy is simply a chore
So it great when you’ve a foot in the door
In executive life
There’s little strife
Redundancy is simply a chore
Britain’s cities are sneezing, atishoo!
Public safety’s becoming an issue
With all of this looting
It’s a war zone in Tooting
We’d be better off in Mogadishu
Public safety’s becoming an issue
With all of this looting
It’s a war zone in Tooting
We’d be better off in Mogadishu
Our methods are subject to doubt;
Our lawyers have suffered a rout.
Our poor little spills
Will bring us big bills -
There seems little choice but Shell out.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2011/aug/03/shell-liability-oil-spills-nigeria
Our lawyers have suffered a rout.
Our poor little spills
Will bring us big bills -
There seems little choice but Shell out.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2011/aug/03/shell-liability-oil-spills-nigeria
What do you mean, you don’t know me, you slave?
I’m the British Prime Minister, Dave
If you make me queue up
And pour my own cup
I just think of the tip that I’ll save
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/italy/8674107/David-Cameron-plays-waiter-to-Samantha-in-Tuscany.html#dsq-content
I’m the British Prime Minister, Dave
If you make me queue up
And pour my own cup
I just think of the tip that I’ll save
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/italy/8674107/David-Cameron-plays-waiter-to-Samantha-in-Tuscany.html#dsq-content
A man who had been lost for a while
Had traveled only a mile
After 27 years of no trace
Police have now solved the case
And opened a skeleton file
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/8667026/Remains-of-man-missing-for-27-years-discovered-in-bank-chimney.html
Had traveled only a mile
After 27 years of no trace
Police have now solved the case
And opened a skeleton file
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/8667026/Remains-of-man-missing-for-27-years-discovered-in-bank-chimney.html
Some MPs might be having close calls
As the number of Westminster seats falls
A voters’ rejection
In a marginal election
Could see Labour losing its Balls
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2011/07/27/ed-balls-could-lose-his-s_n_910762.html
As the number of Westminster seats falls
A voters’ rejection
In a marginal election
Could see Labour losing its Balls
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2011/07/27/ed-balls-could-lose-his-s_n_910762.html
We’re the ones to market Loch Ness
So we’ll bring you to court to confess
You are making life messy
By claiming our Nessie
Och! You’d better change your address
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/8665772/Loch-Ness-visitor-attraction-takes-rival-to-court-over-claims-it-poached-visitors.html
So we’ll bring you to court to confess
You are making life messy
By claiming our Nessie
Och! You’d better change your address
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/8665772/Loch-Ness-visitor-attraction-takes-rival-to-court-over-claims-it-poached-visitors.html
Rah rah and hooray, whoop-de-do!
Plan A is on course right and true!
They said we'd be flat -
They were wrong about that!
We have grown a whole zero point two!
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2011/jul/26/uk-economy-george-osborne-sluggish-growth
Plan A is on course right and true!
They said we'd be flat -
They were wrong about that!
We have grown a whole zero point two!
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2011/jul/26/uk-economy-george-osborne-sluggish-growth
The NHS is perfectly safe with me
Swears Dave, our most senior MP
'We'll drive down the cost
But no services will be lost'
The only change is its no longer free.
http://www.taxresearch.org.uk/Blog/2011/06/10/50-of-people-think-theyll-be-paying-for-nhs-services-soon/
Swears Dave, our most senior MP
'We'll drive down the cost
But no services will be lost'
The only change is its no longer free.
http://www.taxresearch.org.uk/Blog/2011/06/10/50-of-people-think-theyll-be-paying-for-nhs-services-soon/
A dogs bite is worse than its bark
For these fish that fact is quite stark
These four legged cobbers
Get a dose of the slobbers
When they see a sea teamimg with sharks.
http://www.dailygossip.org/dog-biting-shark-viral-gets-27-million-views-1292
For these fish that fact is quite stark
These four legged cobbers
Get a dose of the slobbers
When they see a sea teamimg with sharks.
http://www.dailygossip.org/dog-biting-shark-viral-gets-27-million-views-1292
If Sir Paul seems unusually thick
Forgive him because he’s been sick
Let’s hope it’s not catching
Because with all these plots hatching
We might end up with Cressida Dick
Forgive him because he’s been sick
Let’s hope it’s not catching
Because with all these plots hatching
We might end up with Cressida Dick
The humblest day of my life
Was when I had to be saved by my wife
As I banged on the table
A protestor was able
To bring a custard pie to the strife
Was when I had to be saved by my wife
As I banged on the table
A protestor was able
To bring a custard pie to the strife
Oh Lord it is hard to be humble,
And fumble and mumble and stumble;
But I own The Sun,
So it has to be done
So the Feds and the straight cops don't rumble.
And fumble and mumble and stumble;
But I own The Sun,
So it has to be done
So the Feds and the straight cops don't rumble.
Oh, Georgie is chopping the army
And Liam is purple and barmy;
But Dave has the grease
To keep them at peace -
We know he's sufficiently smarmy.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2011/jul/18/defence-spending-25bn-cameron-osborne
And Liam is purple and barmy;
But Dave has the grease
To keep them at peace -
We know he's sufficiently smarmy.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2011/jul/18/defence-spending-25bn-cameron-osborne
I've been a big bad boy in blue
And now I'm resigning; it's true
I worked with a crook
Who needs bringing to book -
Now, Davey dear, what about you?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/jul/18/sir-paul-stephenson-turns-david-cameron
And now I'm resigning; it's true
I worked with a crook
Who needs bringing to book -
Now, Davey dear, what about you?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/jul/18/sir-paul-stephenson-turns-david-cameron
So Rebecca has finally been sacked,
Over all of those phones that were hacked.
I might be being unfair,
But, with that cold steely stare,
I felt her words of contrition were an act.
Over all of those phones that were hacked.
I might be being unfair,
But, with that cold steely stare,
I felt her words of contrition were an act.
We Brits like to ponder the weather,
Whenever we stop for a blether.
The Norths flooded out,
Yet the South is in drought.
Theres no doubt though, it's wetter than ever.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2011/jun/17/uk-drought-wettest-week-rainfall
Whenever we stop for a blether.
The Norths flooded out,
Yet the South is in drought.
Theres no doubt though, it's wetter than ever.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2011/jun/17/uk-drought-wettest-week-rainfall
Three cheers for good old Hugh Grant
'No more press intrusion' he chants
But his gas was at a peep
When he was caught in a jeep
With Divine Brown removing his pants
'No more press intrusion' he chants
But his gas was at a peep
When he was caught in a jeep
With Divine Brown removing his pants
With leak upon terrible leak
And shareholders starting to freak,
It more and more looks
Like poor Mrs Brooks
Is in for a Wade up the creek.
And shareholders starting to freak,
It more and more looks
Like poor Mrs Brooks
Is in for a Wade up the creek.
In the midst of the NewsCorp affray,
Tell me, what has our Davey to say?
A man of such piety
In Murdoch's society -
Good Lord! He's run off for the day!
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/jul/12/cameron-welsh-assembly-modernise-services
Tell me, what has our Davey to say?
A man of such piety
In Murdoch's society -
Good Lord! He's run off for the day!
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/jul/12/cameron-welsh-assembly-modernise-services
Ethics are for Pommy fools
And hacking's just one of my tools
It's not at all hard
To buy off the Yard
When you play Australian rules
And hacking's just one of my tools
It's not at all hard
To buy off the Yard
When you play Australian rules
Ms Brooks, you're the pet of old Murds,
Your excuses are just for the birds;
Thanks to your foul dealings
We've lots of hard feelings,
So kindly accept our cross words.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2011/jul/11/news-of-the-world-crossword
Your excuses are just for the birds;
Thanks to your foul dealings
We've lots of hard feelings,
So kindly accept our cross words.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2011/jul/11/news-of-the-world-crossword
I'm Rupert, Dave's favourite hacker
Paymaster of Inspector Knacker
If that's not enough
When the inquiry gets tough
I'll blame Brooks, and publicly sack her
Paymaster of Inspector Knacker
If that's not enough
When the inquiry gets tough
I'll blame Brooks, and publicly sack her
The News of the World? Never read it.
Hack telephones? I never said it.
It should be a given,
I'm pure as the driven -
After all, I did nothing but edit.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/jul/05/rebekah-brooks-milly-dowler-phone-hacking
Hack telephones? I never said it.
It should be a given,
I'm pure as the driven -
After all, I did nothing but edit.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/jul/05/rebekah-brooks-milly-dowler-phone-hacking
A statue of Ronnie, I swear, oh!
In bronze and in Grosvenor Square, oh!
For he brought down the Wall
('Twasn't Gorby at all) -
Just don't mention Archbishop Romero.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/ronald-reagan-statue-unveiled-in-london-2306428.html
In bronze and in Grosvenor Square, oh!
For he brought down the Wall
('Twasn't Gorby at all) -
Just don't mention Archbishop Romero.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/ronald-reagan-statue-unveiled-in-london-2306428.html
We love women tennis players’ stunts
And have learned to put up with their grunts
If the Beeb cannot hack it
And tunes out the racket
They should show us some more of their bunts
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/news/8606914/BBC-launches-tool-silencing-Wimbledon-players-grunts.html
And have learned to put up with their grunts
If the Beeb cannot hack it
And tunes out the racket
They should show us some more of their bunts
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/news/8606914/BBC-launches-tool-silencing-Wimbledon-players-grunts.html
Burglars are not very nice
So Ken says to cut them slice
A quick stab will do
In a pinch, maybe two
But if you chase them, you’ll still pay the price
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/8607203/You-can-pick-up-a-knife-and-stab-a-burglar-says-Ken-Clarke.html
So Ken says to cut them slice
A quick stab will do
In a pinch, maybe two
But if you chase them, you’ll still pay the price
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/8607203/You-can-pick-up-a-knife-and-stab-a-burglar-says-Ken-Clarke.html
If the winds and the tides are propitious
You can row from Oz to Mauritius
But you have to be tough
To try the stunt in the buff
Too much sun on your rowlocks is vicious
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/australasia/naked-rower-has-to-be-rescued-again-2294066.html
You can row from Oz to Mauritius
But you have to be tough
To try the stunt in the buff
Too much sun on your rowlocks is vicious
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/australasia/naked-rower-has-to-be-rescued-again-2294066.html